10 years ago today, my father passed away.
I got the news via text message and just crawled into bed, numbed by grief… It felt like my world had crashed and I would never experience joy again…
I remember the first few times I went to church after that…unable to respond to the music and dancing all around me. Feeling very lost, I genuinely wondered if I would ever be able to sing or dance again.
I have had moments when the pain was so deep, I had no strength to feel it. There have also been moments when I remembered my deep sense of loss and cried.
10 years later, I still feel a lot of pain and miss him terribly…
However there have also been moments when I was able to sing and dance and even laugh.
My Heart Sings
Lately, I have been really numb and hardly anything moves me… However I did have a moment yesterday as I watched Isabel Davies and her friends sing “The Blessing”. Like I hadn’t heard it a thousand times before… It’s probably the most popular Christian song of this decade – loved by hundreds of millions around the world and translated into hundreds of languages in just months…
As I listened to Isabel and her team sing “The Blessing” (from around 1:01:20 on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeaLScD4BME), I reflected on the challenging year I have endured and the super terrific day I had, and was continuing to have, and with thoughts of dad on my mind, I bawled my eyes out.
As my evening progressed, and I listened to other songs – like Most Beauitiful (as rendered by Chandler Moore, and then Benita Washington), Israel and New breed’s It’s Not Over, etc, I managed to strike a connection with God like I hadn’t experienced in a really long time. Somehow the songs that no longer moved me brought me to a place of deep worship and gratitude to God.
I guess grief has a way of bringing out the best and worst in us. I feel like it could dig up things are buried deep within us exposing them to the surface. Conversely, it may make us bury feelings or memories that are too intense for us to navigate…
My Heart Trusts
As I continued to worship and my day continued to unfold, I became very aware that the presence of God is with me, and that I had come to the end of a season.
I felt God assuring me that I was entering a new season – of peace, joy, fulfillment, answered prayers, victories…
God’s message to me today is to be at peace, stand still and see His salvation. I no longer have to fight any battles because all the giants that troubled me have been slain, and God continues to fight my battles and win my victories for me.
I am comforted knowing that God is actually always on my side and He will never leave me nor forsake me.
Today, I pray that anyone who may still be dealing with the grief of losing a loved one will continue to find the comfort and strength that only God provides.
Our God, is forever awesome! He keeps His Word: He says, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you…’.
As a child of God, we must remind ourselves that victory or peace that we all desire for, is not in the absence of battles. The Lord says, cheer up, He’s already won the battle for us. I thank God, that we fight in victory. Meaning that, He’s already won every battle for us. Grief, loneliness … or whatever it may be, just give it to Him. The rest will be history. 🙏🏽
Amen and Amen!!! Thank you so much for these encouraging words Ma