The Purge

This post – The Purge – details some of my experience and lessons learned during a recent edit of my clothes.

I hope it inspires you to do some purging yourself – where it matters.

Haters & Admirers

For those of you “haters” who always told me, “You are too thin!”. “Go put on some flesh!” (without ever telling me where to go buy the flesh), I am pleased to tell you that I finally gained some weight. I am also capable of gaining a lot more weight. Shocker!

And for my so called “admirers” who always went on about how amazing I looked in my “thinness”… You know yourselves – always telling me you wished you could be slim like me without ever putting in the work required. I mean YOU, who won’t eat what I eat and continue to eat what I don’t eat. You probably live in a place that starts with the letter “L”. I didn’t mention names… It’s all good!

Handling the Critics

I never worried too much about my “haters” – even though your words really hurt sometimes.  I know some of you were just genuinely concerned about my weight. However, some of you were just plain insensitive or hateful or really bad mannered. I forgive you…

Despite apparently being the nicer ones, I must admit that I judged my “admirers” – the ones who always claimed they wanted to be my size but were not interested in toeing the line to slimness. I always wondered why they paid lip service to becoming slim.

I also judged the millions of ladies around the world – including those around me – for going on about their weight all the time. In my opinion, most of them were beautiful and the perfect size – my desired size. I also genuinely felt that most of them had no justification for obsessing about their weight.

Most of all I hated all the TV shows, articles, magazines and health boards that kept suggesting ways to lose weight, without ever considering that some people  – including I – actually desire to gain weight.

No More Judging

However, I have decided to repent and stop judging my “admirers”. This is because, a few months ago, when I discovered that I had gained some weight and most of my bottoms didn’t fit anymore, I cannot honestly say that I was overjoyed. I actually felt really weird as I realised to my horror that some of my pretty skirts and dresses did not fit anymore.

Perhaps one of the reasons my “admirers” never did bother to lose weight was the hassle of having to edit their wardrobes?

I have actually also come to the realisation that it can be pretty expensive to have to purge all your clothes so you can buy new ones if you gain or lose a lot of weight.

I promise not to judge my “admirers” anymore. Why? Because I found out – much to my surprise – that I am actually not that different from them. I have to admit that even though I had been wanting to gain some weight over many years, I was not exactly feeling elated about letting go of some of the clothes I really loved. The only elation I felt lay in the fact that I became able to actually reduce my clothes (without hesitation but due to compulsion), and pass them on to people who need them.

The Purge Shows

Recently, I have been watching a couple of shows on Netflix that inspire you to purge and organise your stuff better.

The first show is called “Get Organised with the Home Edit”. The hosts of this show, Clea and Joanna, help their clients based on 4 main principles.

The Home Edit Principles

1. Edit what you have to get rid of stuff you no longer need.

2. Categorise – gather and keep similar items together (have subcategories if needed).

For instance, my trousers which are a subcategory of bottoms, are subdivided into casual or smart, short or long, jeans, lounge wear,…You can also classify clothes by weather or use (e.g. casual or “dressy”).

3. Contain – make sure things of the same category or subcategory have a designated place where you store them.

4. Maintain – I guess this means once you do the good job of organising your stuff, try to keep things that way and don’t revert to your old ways.

Essentially, repeat 1 to 3 often and ensure you maintain the set up – of your new organised life.

It turns out I am really not that bad, as I am actually really good at categorising stuff and even separating colours. I am also doing very well with containing my stuff. However, I don’t do very well with editing my stuff, and I can certainly improve on maintaining my existing systems.

The KonMari Method

The second show I watched recently was “Tidying up with Marie Kondo”. Marie, the host of the show, encourages her clients to adopt the KonMari method when purging their stuff. 

With the KonMari method, you are encouraged to bring out EVERYTHING you have in a major category (e.g. books or clothes) and put them all in ONE pile. This helps you see just how much stuff you have. I guess it also helps put you in a better headspace when it comes to letting go of the stuff you don’t need or use, or like Marie puts it, “the things that no longer spark joy for you”.

Getting on with the Purge

I am not usually very good at purging stuff (especially paper based items), and I have been thinking I should do a proper purge sometime. 

However, just a few days after I started watching the “purge shows” mentioned above, my neighbour told me she wanted to cargo some stuff to Africa, and asked if I had any old clothes to give away. So I thought “there’s your opportunity to purge your clothes” and decided to give it a shot.

I never planned to do the KonMari method as I thought it would be easier to purge things in sub-sections like I am used to. I really did not want the hassle of going through all my clothes in one go.

However, I decided to do it and I must say it was a massive help in the end. Adopting the KonMari method did mean I was forced to actually go through all the clothes in one go so I could do a more thorough purge. It turned out I actually had loads of clothes that I haven’t worn in forever, and some were even over a decade old.

I am pleased to announce that I was able to let go of about half of my clothes as a result of adopting the KonMari method.

Lessons Learned from the Purge

I learned some lessons along the way as I purged my wardrobe. The ones I remember are highlighted below.

1. Pace yourself.

I completed my wardrobe edit in less than 24 hours – overnight on a Friday, and continued all afternoon on Saturday. This was because most of the clothes I was likely to give away were likely to fit my neighbour’s cousin who was visiting and leaving in a couple of days – on the Sunday. My neighbour did later confirm that her cousin was able to take most of the clothes as they fit her. She also managed to send the rest to Africa.

Purging my entire wardrobe in less than 24 hours, with hardly any breaks, did leave me feeling very stressed and exhausted as I had to try on most of the clothes. I later realised I really shouldn’t have put myself through that – especially considering it was my birthday weekend.

2. Spandex/elastane can be your friend – sometimes.

It depends on the fabric, clothing type, fit, etc.

I actually know to buy the larger size for clothes that have spandex in them – it’s a rule I usually abide by. Unfortunately I didn’t seem to always pay attention to this rule which meant some things I could have kept had to go in the “give away” pile.

I did manage to keep one elasticated skirt and a pair of elasticated trousers, as they were not tightly fitted to begin with – classic examples of when elastane helps. This brings me to the next lesson.

3. Not all clothes have to be a perfect fit.

I think it makes sense to wear clothes that are normal – not too tight and not too loose. That way if your weight changes slighly (up or down), you are still able to wear your clothes – especially the ones you love or that cost a lot of money.

Gaining a bit of weight means I have had to literally give up all my shirts, as well as many of my tops, dresses, skirts and trousers as many of them were a perfect fit when I got them.

I happened to have actually lost a lot of weight when I got some of these clothes. So I guess it is actually worth paying attention to this point about buying a normal fit (not too tight or too loose) – especially if your weight usually fluctuates.

4. Beware of buying certain colours or styles just for the sake of it.

For me this was white (color) as well as cardigans (style).

I don’t find cardigans flattering (for me), and hardly wear them. Therefore, I had to be honest with myself and let many of them go.

Strangely, I also found that I had loads of white clothes (especially white shirts and white tops) that I never wore sitting in my wardrobe – some of them for over a decade. Most of them had to go in the purge.

5. Do NOT buy stuff just because they are cheap or heavily discounted.

I must admit that I usually fall prey to buying stuff just because they are heavily discounted. However, I ended up never wearing some of them as they didn’t fit anymore. They were mostly summer clothes as we don’t have that many warm days in the UK.

I know that many of us like a good deal and succumb to the “massive reductions” tactic. However, try to ensure that whatever you buy, however cheap they are, you will use them.

Before buying anything, be sure that you know when, where and how you would use them.

6. If it don’t fit, don’t keep!

Obviously I had gained some weight, which unfortunately meant that I had to try on most of the clothes when doing my wardrobe edit.

Trying on most of the clothes did mean the purge took a lot longer and I was very exhausted by the time I finished. It was really stressful and I literally had aches and pains from trying on lots of clothes non-stop, over so many hours.

However, it did mean that I did a more throrough and effective purge. I found that it was absolutely worth it in my case as there just was no excuse to keep clothes that evidently didn’t fit anymore. 

If your size has changed considerably over a period, it might be worth trying on all the clothes you intend to keep, just to be sure they still fit and you are justified for keeping them. This is especially important if you have clothes from long ago that you haven’t worn in ages.

If your weight hasn’t changed and you are pretty sure most of the clothes still fit you, your job will be a lot easier. You can simply separate the clothes into piles you are “keeping” or “giving away”.

You can also have an “undecided” pile and only try clothes in that pile on to help you decide. This brings me to my next lesson which I really like.

7. Sometimes it’s okay to hold on to some things you really love.

This could be because they have sentimental value or you just plain love them. Perhaps like me, you might be more willing to give some things to someone you know and love. I usually do this for some of my stuff and save them for a friend or family member it fits.

Whilst doing my edit, I did have some “big” wins as a result of this habit. There were actually two trousers and a skirt that were previously in my “give away” pile for years because they were so big, they were literally like sacks for me. However they now actually fit me! I held on to these bottoms because I really liked them and didn’t find someone to give them to. Thankfully they now fit.

However, don’t deceive yourself and go crazy keeping lots of stuff you don’t need.

If you haven’t worn it in years, you very likely will never wear it again.

Time to PURGE

Today, I would like to challenge you to do some purging, not just around your house, but of the things that really matter.

Purge your house

Try to look around and purge some stuff in your bedroom, garage, pantry, kitchen, living room and other parts of your house.

It is important, however, to purge by category and not location. For instance you may never actually purge that bedroom or kitchen or pantry until you start going through stuff by category. 

Breaking stuff at a certain location down into categories really does help when you do a purge.

Purge your relationships

Let go of very negative people who stress you, make you feel unimportant, undervalued, inadequate, incompetent and worthless.

People who always judge you and are not supportive of you, your dreams, your passions or your pains need to be purged from your life – if possible.

Purge yourself!

This is actually very close to home for me and really important.

How do you purge yourself? The following might help.

Purge your mind

Let go of negative habits.  It all begins with a thought. 

Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts. Proverbs 4: 23 GNT

Thoughts become words and/or actions, and actions become habits.

Your habits go a long way in shaping your character.

Your character can determine the direction of your life.

What are you feeding your mind? They become thoughts that can affect your life.

Let go of negative thoughts. Be mindful what you think about. Be careful of what you say, and conscious of your actions and their consequences.

Purge your body

Pay attention to your diet and lifestyle.

Get more active (this one is for me actually). You can actually join exercise sessions that you like online – for free.

Get more sleep and less screen time if you can. 

However don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to get back on track if you begin to slack.

Purge your spirit

Most importantly, purge your spirit.

Turn your heart over to God and let Him help you purge your spirit of things that can destroy you and have a knock on effect on other areas of your life.

I can think of a few examples of negative attitudes many of us may struggle with – worry, anxiety, depression, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, jealousy, envy, malice, pride, the pain of rejection or loss, resentments, guilt, regrets, self-pity, discouragement…

However, if we ask Him, God is able to help us put away the things that pollute our spirits and make us “sick” from the inside out.

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ – 2 Corinthians 10: 5 NASB

Get purging!

PS: Be sure to sure share your thoughts and any useful tips you know in the Comments section. The journey continues…